Bam Bam Rides Home in a MINI-Van

Hey, my name is Bam Bam.  I'm a three-year old registered bay roan Miniature Horse stallion.  I measure in at a whopping 33" at my withers and the humans think I'm quite handsome.   Not too long ago, I was living with a miniature donkey jack who thought he was the boss of everyone on the farm, including me and the other horses.  I have a nice bite on my shoulder to remember him by.   I was living with a good family who treated me right but the man human had a new job that didn't allow much time for me.  My new human drove for 4 hours west on the interstate to pick me up.  I rode home in style: a nice red Minivan with air conditioning, music AND shocks.  It was sweeeeet!  I hopped right in, got cozy  and had a nice snack of brome hay with a side order of a lick treat.  It was fun driving down I-70 with nosy humans in other cars and trucks slowing down to take a look at me.  I believe that they thought I must have been a St. Bernard or something.  Imagine their faces when they saw it was handsome me instead of some pooch.  My new human/chauffeur had a good laugh with some of the expressions she saw.  Of course, I know I'm something special, but my new human was "amazed" that I didn't soil the van like she had thought I would.  Oh, PAH-leese!  I'm so above that.  After my lovely ride, I hopped out of the van to my new digs.  I live in a good-sized backyard with a 6 ft fence to keep all the ladies from throwing themselves at me.  My neighbors to the south are French Alpine dairy goat boys Oreo, Brownie and Rocky Road.  They're all named for desserts which I think must appeal to the coyotes around here.  They were still bottle-feeding until a couple days ago.  I think they need me to show them the ways of the world.  To the north of me are these wolfish dogs with one big mastiff-thingy about my size named Stella.  I think she has a crush on me.  Oh, I get along with them all fine.  I let them touch my nose when I feel like it.  After all, the King must rule benevolently.  The humans are cool.  They feed me good hay and a little grain.  I also get awesome back scratches.  My new farrier did my hooves yesterday and couldn't help admiring my good looks.  I think I can used to this new life, no problem.